Thursday, January 19, 2017

The YES woman

How would life look like if YES was always the default answer?
I think it would look pretty awesome!

Let me explain...
I said "yes" to jobs I didn't feel like doing, and they turned essential for my shifting towards happiness and connectedness with others; I said "yes" to social meetings that I didn't feel like attending, and they turned to be the most fun ever; I said "yes" to lovers I felt like dismissing at first because of looks, quirks, star signs, their reputation or my fear of intimacy. In fact, because of my fear of everything. Yet, the encounters went just fine.

Based on the above experiences, it shows me that acting upon my feelings, thoughts or fears would be a pretty lame way of living, which would rob me off some profound discoveries about myself, others and our needs.

How could I've ever known that I get a real buzz from intelligent men, hadn't I talked to Ralf, the attractive visiting professor?

How could I've ever known, I'd have a great sex with Adam, hadn't I given him a chance?

How could I've ever known, I'd be into empowerment and leadership, hadn't I stepped beyond my self-imposed limitations and began networking with like-minded individuals?

If I can't trust my feelings, nor my thoughts and let alone emotional states, which are just the manifestations of the earlier, then what can I trust?

I've concluded that none of us should rely on our feelings, thoughts and emotions (especially if they seem yucky) because - they change all the time! How can something so fickle guide us throughout the day? Those are not the same as intuition - the sense that you know something without a prior analyzation (you pick up the umbrella "just in case", and few hours later you are grateful for that!) 

How could I make the YES and NO battles throughout my days easier on my mind? 
By not battling against what I want.

How do we know when it is appropriate to say "yes" and when "no"? 
Intuition and kindness are our guides. 
We may ask questions like:
Do I really want to have the one-time affair or do I prefer to have a happy wife/husband?
Do I want to play available/unavailable, hot/cold, yes/no games, or do I just want to enjoy the date and have him/her in my bed while I'm still single and the physical act makes me happy?
Do I want to take risks and strive for happiness beyond my imagination, or do I want to remain small and comfortable?
If you say NO to drama or smallness, you are, in fact, saying YES to life full of love and light.

I won't say NO to life anymore when I 'feel like I should'. I believe that practicing saying YES instead could move me one step closer to what I truly want.

The bigger picture is not me creating a spiritual partnership somewhere in the future - the bigger picture is me being a happy woman NOW and forever more.
How I get there is by saying "Yes" to what life puts in front of me.
Intuition and kindness are my 'moral' guides. 
Beautifully, intuition appears without any emotion attached. I am bound to listen and say "No" if I KNOW (not feel) that that is not going to bring me what I WANT now and never.
If I just feel/think it's not going to bring me what I want - It's a fear based emotion influenced by past events or fabricated stories of the mind. My yucky feeling might be my unconscious fear of: change, stepping beyond my comfort zone, broadening horizons, new viewpoints, and perhaps even a fear of getting exactly what I want, but in a totally different package than what I thought it would arrive.

My new formula - say YES, always. Then modify and clarify the details on the go.

Dramatic speculations will always play in the background of the brain (unfortunately) to keep us on our toes, in a high stress, and state of anxiety.
I can lose hours of sleep by lying to myself.
Repeating "No - not what I want." and inventing reasons for not having, doing or being something, like a stuck record in my mind. How about just letting it go, shifting my focus to what I want to have, do, and be, ALLOWING MYSELF TO WANT IT, and THEN succumbing to that relaxation of body and peace of mind. 

Ladies and gentlemen, why lying to yourselves saying that you think/feel you know everything about yourself and your fears? Those are fabricated fears about saying YES to exciting life!
Be prepared to explore your limits...

P.S: I'm going on a new date! 
Talking about intuition... I just wanted to meet my friend in this particular shop at this particular time on this particular hot day just to buy some kale... You wouldn't believe Jane's cupid skills!
Dating many guys at once is Rori Raye's (relationship coach) advice for all the single ladies out there. Apparently, we don't have to sleep with them all (but we can).

Details to come soon.

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