Thursday, January 12, 2017

The Art Of Tantra

I wonder how to learn and teach: Not overstepping the fine line between caring and overwhelming concern...
Whether you are a holistic practitioner, any kind of service provider, or a client benefiting from someone's services, when experiencing the latter on your own skin it is always SUFFOCATING.

Not surprisingly, the Christmas period had been so shitty on demand for my massage services. Once my phone started ringing again, someone claiming to be an expert on Tantra massage (had had it once before) gave me a negative feedback - in spite of the release of his built up energy still having looked like fireworks to me. But miracles were waiting around the corner, and I am really grateful for what I've been able to manifest this week!

Since Sunday my practice has been booked by nice and experienced (!) clients interested in the holistic side of Tantra. They eventually amazed me further with their own knowledge and background of various spiritual, wellbeing, or erotic practices. 
I had especially gratifying day yesterday when I accepted 2 clients with very refreshing perspectives on the art of treating the body, mind & spirit and where sex belonged to that. 

Can you imagine that being caressed by hands (or silk or feathers) by someone who’s authentic with you could be far more exciting than "being made love to" by someone who doesn’t truly care about you, nor is in love with you?

The art of Tantra is the getaway to your own healing by the subtle yet so powerful energies lying dormant around your pelvis area and along the spine. We can wake these up by masturbation alone, but apparently, having a caring facilitator profoundly enhances the experience. The two auras connect and shine, the energies intertwine and the collective consciousness expands. A spiritual connection is established without the need for an intercourse.
Sounds nice, doesn’t it??

What is the goal of Tantra?

Most of the feedback I get from Tantra consists of the realization that the Tantric pleasure stays with the person for hours, even days. the released energy lingers in the air as something that energizes rather than depletes of the life force!

Tantra masseuse doesn’t have to compromise her/himself in order to play a part in someone’s pleasure.

That’s not to say that I, as the facilitator, don’t have the capacity to ever burn out.

Because I do. For any energy worker it is so important to care about own wellbeing and balance. After a full-on period, turning into flaming ashes happens with the snap of a finger.

It had happened in the past, and it has NEARLY happened fairly recently… Somewhere around the quiet period I stumbled; my clientele had changed and I felt overwhelmed by hostile energies so alien to mine. I am lifting myself up from the ground, dusting off, and picking up the pieces of me scattered around. It was a lovely fall, taught me a lot. I am actually pleased how fast and easy the comeback was! It has never taken such a short while before.

What did help me? Faith in good clients, abundance and positive energies coming around again. In fact, it was the faith that miracles were waiting around the corner. Not much else. Also, not passing my time by drinking more than once a week (preferably less than half a bottle of red).

Where is the fine line between work and a personal life? Are we allowed to bond, create close friendships or emotionally intimate (non-sexual) relationships with our clients? Is there supposed to be a fine line?

There must be some. Even though I am not tempted to sleep with my clients, we still manage to establish the above mentioned intimate relationships. And I dare to say that they are far more powerful than most sexual relationships I’ve had which were superficially based solely on intercourse. Spiritual connections are fulfilling and enlivening. Casual sex without love is as though we have no idea who the other person in bed really is and neither we care!
But even fulfilling work/career can turn into an overwhelming responsibility and a burden on the shoulders!

Sometimes I need to say goodbye to some clients not because they were passing through the town and now must leave, but because they don’t understand that there are borders and fine lines which can’t be crossed - they are not welcomed to be crossed.

My services are limited.

I won’t tolerate people willing to blur the lines between work, friendship and the possibility of a romance. I am not built for that.
It is possible to have an emotionally intimate relationship with your clients - but all parties must FEEL FREE in that spiritual connection. 
Otherwise, another burnout impends.

If I'm suffocating, please don’t bring me more flowers, don’t get me presents, don’t call me to see how I’m doing, don’t blame me for not replying asap…  e
lse my coffee table turns into my memorial!


  1. Thank you for your thoughts and reflections. The tantric approach should definitely be explored much more in this crazy world.

    1. Thank you, I agree with you.
      Many things should be explored in 'this crazy world' before they are labeled and discarded.

  2. Wow, tantric sounds incredible...I really get a sense of how healing it could be. I myself walk round quite shut down and blocked to life a lot of the time...particularly on a sexual energy front...I switch my sexual expression off and ignore it often...almost as a form of self punishment!
    However - Strange when I embrace sexuality and sexual expression - my world feels a better place in all aspects!
    I really love the idea that Tantric is on a spiritual basis without intercourse.
    This must take a lot of self control and respect - particularly on the receivers part?

    1. The receiver is having so much fun they don't need the intercourse part. Maybe it's because most people are so familiar with having sex with a stranger, but not with enjoying themselves through the caring help of someone they trust. Trust is an essential part of Tantra. Sometimes it can't be done properly if there's no spiritual connection between the facilitator and the receiver .
      As for your probably intentional blocking of own sexual energy, there are reasons for it which you should acknowledge and respect yourself for feeling them. People's expressions of sexuality varies and sometimes they don't need to have a strong eccentric nature. Perhaps your sexuality is more soft and needs lots of tenderness to come forward. Perhaps it would surprise you how untamed your sexual energy actually is! Like everything in life, it is dynamic and pliable. Tantra and other erotic practices can bring you closer to understanding it and healing it. You'll then walk around tall, proud and enveloped in your own idiosyncratic sexuality. There's no one/right way of "doing" it. As "Anonymous" suggested - Tantra -one's own sexuality - needs to be explored.

    2. I often wonder if NOT being tapped in to my sexuality has kept me from meeting a mate.
      Do you think this could be possible?

  3. That's a good question. I actually often wonder whether we (myself included) need a mate with the same level of my sexuality or higher or lower...
    What do you want out of a sexually intimate relationship, Monkey Magic?
    What you require from your partner you first need to give to yourself.
    There are some couples who are so sexually charged they invite other people into their bedroom. However, others (me included) who are also sexually charged feel more more comfortable in an exclusive partnership. Even the exclusivity can be openly explored.
    What would make you feel comfortable and at the same time fully charged? That's where you can start tapping into your sexuality. The right mate will smell that about you :)

    1. Of same levels of OUR sexuality - was meant to be the sentence!


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