I am improving myself in many areas of my life (writing, wellbeing, career, relationships, etc.), so it could bring its fruits of labor to my communities too. However, I do that also because I am afraid of making another mistake. Perhaps afraid of being hurt by loving the wrong way - as though I am fixing something that looks insufficient to me.
Fixing other people has proven to be a waste of time, so how about 'fixing' myself? Clearly, my way of inquiring, learning and lusting after mastering the art of relationships can seem rather unsettling at times. Wouldn’t I survive another mistake? Sure I would. But is that really necessary after all I’ve learned? I've improved, no doubt.
Fixing is not the same as both parties communicating about the ways the partnership could work better. A friend of mine who has been married for over 30 years told me that her and her husband regularly sit down to talk about implementing necessary changes in their marriage. Together - that is. I've never heard her saying that she alone works so hard to make it right. She feels fulfilled and loved because he cooperates and changes with her.
Improving relationships shouldn’t cost you sweat, blood and tears.
How far do I need to go in order to feel at peace with who I am and with the capabilities I've acquired for having satisfactory relationships? Is the way I hunger for knowledge just another symptom of feeling not good enough? Well, that’s hopefully BS!
Improving where we can improve is a beautiful gift from our brains.
Not knowing it all, nor mastering certain things fully shouldn’t stop a person from teaching/delegating when they identify the lessons which their effective tackling of has become a second nature for them. We need advanced learners like these because we all learn by example, experience and repetition. Don't wait for the 'guru' level. Start teaching when you are an effective 'tackler'. As Brandon Burchard says: "Demonstrate, then delegate".
Here is a video from my friend Rowan on his youtube channel The Light Space. He certainly has handy tips for mastering oneself and feeling positive about the progress we make.