Open-hearted sex

I'm being called to write another post about sex! :)

I'd like to know if people are actively loving themselves when they make love to themselves.

There are so many kinds of orgasms one can experience alone or with a partner, it seems it depends on our momentary moods, time of the day, the weather and definitely the thoughts and feelings we evoke during the sexual act.

I masturbate often. Do I need to give reasons? No, but it relieves me of tension, stress, anxiety, in addition to satisfying the urge to enter altered consciousness. If I’m feeling really aroused by a thought, a scene I hear about, read about or imagine in my head it makes it hard walking around bursting! I would have serious problems as a man and I don’t think I’d favor tight trousers.

I’m not sure how or from whom I could have inherited this appetite, but mostly I am glad for it.

Since my 25 I practice self-discipline. I don’t have to (neither I want to) fuck every good-looking available guy out there because I know it wouldn’t necessarily feel good during or afterwards. It helps to stay sober (6 days per week with 1 day per week being just tipsy), and most of all, willing to have my heart open. 

I’ll expand on that. I notice that people are comfortable having closed-hearted sex. I belive it’s their means of protection from being truly 'penetrated'. Whether a man or a woman, we are well aware that some people can get under our skin and see us through. Scary. The tendency to feel afraid of not being accepted the way we are AS WELL AS BEING accepted the way we are operates on automatic. Fear of failure vs. fear of success, fear of hatred vs. fear of unconditional love - isn't that ridiculous? Why are we so complicated???
The underlying fear of being hurt is there even for the biggest macho guys. 

You don't have to agree with me just because I studied a bit of psychology and I slept with, observed and interviewed hundreds of men...just saying. Exactly how I did that I shall disclose perhaps some other time...

Thus, I believe that mindless, heartless fuck feels “safe” for the majority of people. But is that the reality? Does it feel safe even afterwards? No! But it takes some self-therapy to understand this weird logic.

Having your heart open while making love to someone who doesn’t have his or hers open is dangerous only if you don’t know how to work with energies. People will get to you, they will penetrate you, and they can suck you out (without actually sucking on you). Many humans don't realize how powerful the sexual energy is. When we expand it through the sex of another, part of their essence will involuntarily stay with us. 

Can we handle it? We can and we must! Getting affected by their essence is voluntary.

Until we get the magic of it, heartless fuck will seemingly feel safe and open-hearted fuck will feel dangerous. 

Again, ask yourself what it could be like in reality.

I'm choosing to stay alone till I find what I’m looking for, because my heart wants to stay open when I’m being made love to and I don't want to detoxify myself from someone's different energetic intentions…. Maybe I could do it regardless - but it’s a pity to “do” just a half-sex!

I knew my ex was making love to me with his heart upon his sleeve. He put himself on the line, emotionally raw and therefore open to getting hurt anytime.
It still doesn’t mean, however, that he was the person I should have stayed with. Sex could be the icing on the cake of a great, loving, trustworthy partnership, but not the foundation of a half-relationship with secrets.

I want to practice imagining having it all...