I'd like to know if people are actively loving themselves when they make love to themselves.
I masturbate often. Do I need to give reasons? No, but it relieves me of tension, stress, anxiety, in addition to satisfying the urge to enter altered consciousness. If I’m feeling really aroused by a thought, a scene I hear about, read about or imagine in my head it makes it hard walking around bursting! I would have serious problems as a man and I don’t think I’d favor tight trousers.
I’m not sure how or from whom I could have inherited this appetite, but mostly I am glad for it.
Since my 25 I practice self-discipline. I don’t have to (neither I want to) fuck every good-looking available guy out there because I know it wouldn’t necessarily feel good during or afterwards. It helps to stay sober (6 days per week with 1 day per week being just tipsy), and most of all, willing to have my heart open.
The underlying fear of being hurt is there even for the biggest macho guys.
Thus, I believe that mindless, heartless fuck feels “safe” for the majority of people. But is that the reality? Does it feel safe even afterwards? No! But it takes some self-therapy to understand this weird logic.
I knew my ex was making love to me with his heart upon his sleeve. He put himself on the line, emotionally raw and therefore open to getting hurt anytime.
It still doesn’t mean, however, that he was the person I should have stayed with. Sex could be the icing on the cake of a great, loving, trustworthy partnership, but not the foundation of a half-relationship with secrets.