As we approached, he casually took my bikini top off. Despite my excitement, some nasty thoughts about him being a self-serving, pleasure seeking hedonist crossed my mind. I guess the trauma I suffered by his telling me how he had entertained himself while I was away surfaced one more time.
I came back to the present and became aware of the chemistry we still had between us. All experiences are unique, and there's no denying that the passion we once shared was real.
We stood there in the water, naked and very close to each other. We connected our hands. I saw him so pure.
The water invited us for a healing swim and it felt so good to take the few cleansing laps. The toxic feelings were leaving me... I felt lighter, I began to smile, appreciating the beauty around us, and I felt happier and happier.
I observed him washing himself with the fresh water, diving, then splashing his face, rubbing it... And again.... It occurred to me that he needed healing just as much as I or you do.
In his life he, too, had accumulated lots of pain and trauma. I had but a little idea about all that. I swam to the shore and watched him. The pool turned into a river, with the new water from the waterfall making its way around his body faster, brushing his skin, washing off whatever was not needed. New water, new river and new throwing himself under the current. He was like a restless child.
I felt reluctant to enter the stream of water again. Like if I didn't want to disturb him. Just watching him felt as gratifying as if it was me being cleansed that way. I let him be.
I dressed and looked over my shoulder to once again bless this human being who was fixing himself all alone. He did not need me to assist him, tell him what to do, tell him how to live his life to - to please me? - he needed to please himself, to like his life, like himself.
I don't know what new decisions he shall make. Let it be his journey.