Thursday, January 26, 2017

Imperfection is beauty

On Australia Day one year ago, I woke up with a banging hangover as if a brick fell on my head the night before. Unfortunately, it wasn't external. My mind, body and spirit suffered due to my ex's never-ending lies and manipulation - which I wanted to wash down by means of couple of bottles of red, some port wine, binge eating, and a bathtub full of tears. A mess!
The 'old me' might have deserved to be with someone who behaved ruthless, was lying, and cheating. Not because I was the same, but because I wasn't living my life authentically. I didn't listen to my truth and I kept holding on to negative beliefs. I thought that being independently dependent on his love would miraculously save me from having to deal with myself.

Carl must be from a different planet. This guy definitely speaks a different language to the one I learned but..... it's the language of a gentleman. Everything he does is pretty much perfect.
On the previous date he charmed me by his generosity, flexibility of mind and open-heartedness.

Yesterday I was meeting him straight after a hot pilates class (showered and polished, of course), and he surprised me by having a big bottle of Evian handy the moment I sat down in his car.

Likewise, the staff at the restaurant must have been informed that I'd be starving, so immediately upon our arrival, they presented a huge plate of assorted sashimi!

To finish off the dinner and an amazing conversation (about life and nothing), he took me to the riverwalk with my favorite Brisbane skyline view. Especially one hotel that I consider a special place for many reasons shined so bright, almost as a sign that everything is happening right for my growth.

I still don't know what to think about Carl. Perhaps it's best to not think anything for the moment and just flow.. I'm planting seeds, saying yes, being open and receptive. There's nothing else I am obliged to do.
On the other hand, I can't help it, but he's scoring points at the speed of light!

Nothing is complete, nothing is finished, let's allow the light into the cracks and appreciate life for what it is. In fact, let's not adorn brokenness with any golden lacquer this time. 
Rawness, imperfection and simplicity is what is needed now.

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