Cultivating life through chakra-work

I hope this post will inspire you to take some significant actions for your happy life!

A quick mobile check-in while on the way to the GC dancing my solar plexus chakra.
What a crazy three weeks, hey!
It’s been hard... but I’m transforming for I’m sick of this larvae form.

I feel alive.


I recall the words of Thomas Moore, author of The Soul of Sex: Cultivating Life as an Act of Love, where he writes that during his times as a Monk, he would experience celibacy for 12 years - yet his life couldn’t have been more sexual.

I understood him just right at that time - but now I believe him. I live it.
My kundalini uncoils every-time I breathe it into life. It makes me tingle, hot, vibrating and it heals me.
Although I haven't had a lover for months, I don't feel deprived. I breathe sex, I drift off to sleep feeling it, I dream about it, I wake up all aroused, smiley and then I walk around sex on legs...

I’ve always suspected that men had a radar for the things that go on in a woman's mind and behind the scenes of what she presents as her life, though it appears that women have this radar too. A universal sense of ‘sex’.
After all, I too, can smell for miles whether there’s a tendency for sensual or closed off in one’s character. Many people who dance tend to embrace the former. It is our prerogative to decide what kind of perfume we’ll exude!
Being naturally sensual makes this celibacy interesting. I'm fine but I can’t even express how much I miss making love to a man.

Throughout my diverse careers, I’ve observed that the relationships I’m able to create in a really short period of time go far beyond just business.
I make people feel better about themselves, loved and unconditionally accepted in record time.
I should probably do something about that.
It is still difficult for me to creatively think about a sustainable service and future investments.

I want to find a local coach/mentor as I’d like to write a book and possibly start an online business - teaching what I’ve learned. We all have a book and a course within us. Many people would surely benefit if we weren’t afraid to put ourselves on the line... Is it really just a matter of decision?
How I wish I could snap my fingers and embody the required confidence!

I see that life does not get easier as one gets older. It is but more precious and more of a privilege to live it well. Yes, it can be very gratifying, however, it calls for significant discipline henceforth. Especially in the areas of self-care, nutrition, the right exercise routine, and enough sleep.
Unfortunately, I can’t live like a 20 or 25-year-old anymore. If I overdo it with alcohol or food, I suffer. For long.
Maybe that’s why I’m abstaining from sex!?

I must carefully check what comes in and out of me (spiritually speaking, of course). It is an honor to celebrate my 31st next week while still looking like 22 - so I’m frequently told!
Nevertheless, I don’t feel it.

I admit that the proven rituals for a healthy body, mind and spirit are not so easy to keep up with in the world I live.

Simplicity and stability... I must keep reminding myself.

P.S.: I always wanted to make a commitment to something somewhere... but the question remains the same: To where and to what without not missing out on the freedom to travel and be myself? 🤔

J. and I

I don’t know what I’m watching on this comedy channel, but it’s bloody hilarious….
I just ate the last 1/3 of almond butter.
I also started drinking the wine J. Had no idea about …

I'm experiencing a little of the ‘mind-fuck’ he had once called ‘this’ before.

Hard to describe what happened. I feel like I have feelings for him when he’s near me. It is delightful talking to him and feeling his positive energy and all the good intentions of his unconditionally-loving aura… honestly, I have never experienced a man so pure… I know he has his vices and blah blah… I am actually sick and tired of people shaming him in front of me just because he strayed from his partner of nearly 20 years…

There are so very few men who would say at 21: Right, I am going to be a dad, let’s stick with this seven years older woman through her pregnancy, motherhood and all the shitty times afterward…

I can’t help it, I adore this man.

When I settled myself in his embrace, I started crying uncontrollably and could hardly stop…
Somehow I composed myself and stayed in the present ever since.
We kissed and hugged.
I had not seen him for one year, yet he still had that effect on me.
Nothing more happened.

Sitting here alone now, I can still smell his deodorant, and it’s making me feel very relaxed and loved and loving...

No Adam, D., Little birdie or Thor produced those amounts of chemistry…

According to his latest message, he’s feeling somewhat healed…
To which I replied: "Yeah, I feel great too."

- but not at all! 

Overdosing on almond butter and extra wine was probably quite helpful, and the least damage I could anticipate for myself whenever feeling left alone. Also, this comedy channel is doing its fair share to cheer me up, but I am not healed.

Having met this man last year always seemed somewhat fatal. I know I can cherish this spiritual connection. 

It is not hard to maintain a friendship with J. at all, I am just releasing what needs to be released and making way for something similar, but different, and thus, new altogether...

The more surprising, the better.

'Familiar' does not always indicate 'favorable'.

Anyway...

Kundalini and other shit

Last week is well worth mentioning. I was dealing with my constant dilemma of self-worth, sense of belonging, what is my ideal community and at the same time I felt deep gratitude for the friendships that I made in Brisbane, and marveled at the new tendency to create lovely friendships with younger and younger people…It feels refreshingly, beautifully awesome!

I danced 5rhythms… shyly at first, but it didn’t take too long and I slipped into my carefree wild-dancing self. I left my dancing family a year ago but it changed nothing about the fact that I still belonged there. However, to what extent can I relate to the people there? Are we a family or are we but a dancing family?

The people I dance with have their own stories, too. Sometimes they let others in, however, many times we see only glimpses when they process their shit with tears of joy or grief.

I didn’t know what happened to her, let’s call her S., but I lied down next to her on the dance floor and I sent out carefully constructed positive intentions, prayers, and perhaps even some Reiki healing energy - which would bounce off if nobody wanted it. I wanted it, and was prepared to receive it back without any hassle.

She turned away from me, perhaps sensing what I was quietly up to.

Some other people approached her later, offering tissues or asking if she was ok. She turned everyone down.

Sometime later I felt I needed to apologize and I also explained what went through my head - not appreciated. S. seemed quite defensive.

A couple of days passed and she texted me to meet her for coffee.

I have yet to find out how to translate the Czech expression “Pozvanka na koberecek” into English. Basically, it was an invite to listen to her speak about what’s right and what’s wrong (and make me wrong)…

I feared the meeting so much I dreamt about downing a shot of gin beforehand, but I came sober and prepared to listen.

This girl was nuts.

Apparently I violated her free will. Never ever I am allowed to send her positive intentions again.

She then went ahead and recalled a story where she discussed something that she desired to happen with one of her friends, only finding out the next day that it manifested. She then texted that person : “How crazy that we discussed this yesterday and it just came true!”
The person replied:
“So happy for you, I did Reiki on the issue last night, I hope it helped.”
S. went berserk. She had a go at that woman, letting her know that she wasn't ok with her never-asked-for Reiki help.
Alright…

As I was sitting there, trying to have a neutral energy and non-judgment, it crossed my mind that if someone was listening to our convo, they would surely think we run away from an asylum…

I kept listening to her stories and looking into her frightened, huge, deep brown eyes. It was clear that this girl was rejecting her feminine, she did not want to receive. Anything. 

She is here to struggle all alone…
Alright…
I changed my perspective.

“Yes you are right. Speak with Honor about writing new group rules on our Facebook page - We shall never approach those who are processing something after the dance is over.”

So, let’s all be individuals, dancing collectively, yet individualistically, let’s reject team efforts, not share the deeper truths, and then just go home alone and shit ourselves in fear and prayer that no one is, God forbid, praying for us or have any loving intentions towards us!

The next day I did Cacao Ceremony - I reclaimed my power as a woman ( I stopped using it along with my vow of celibacy last year) and then the week later traveled to Gold Coast to dance Kundalini, root chakra - one of 7 series.
I am still integrating that!

Some personal updates:

I am on a Keto journey, and I’m loving it! It has been about 2 weeks, cutting out all grains, all bad vegetable oils and all natural sugar - however, I did have some dark chocolate (90%) and half a kiwi today as I started experiencing the ‘Keto Flu’.

I only just read Mark Sissons's 21 day Keto reset (before going totally Keto for 6 weeks) and apparently one is not meant to drastically cut everything out right away…
So… I just popped down to the fridge and took the other half of the kiwi.
Feels like my sore legs are singing: Oh, thank you for some straight up glucose!

Yes, strangely I’ve had a lot more energy in those 2 weeks, exercising, dancing or doing yoga and walking lots every day…
Then sleeping like a baby.

I also allow myself a glass or two of red every now and then even though it is not part of the recommended Keto diet, but it is not completely against it.

I might never get to Adelaide as I didn’t pass through the final selection panel… Oh well, L’Oreal, you’re missing out!
I could try my luck and go there regardless; vacancies are everywhere, but
something else came up in Byron Bay. Hey, I better not spill out all the beans just yet, as the offer is still too fragile to speak about it as rock-solid.

However, the next few months shall be exciting.

Also, the British guy I met 3 years ago in London is coming in September and I am extra curious what is he up to…

I hope that you are well xox