Sunday, January 8, 2017

How to establish emotional connections with people

Not every post is going to be a gem, but let's hope this one will be better than the one yesterday! ;)

Last night's negative feedback regarding my massage threw me off the track a bit, I admit, but I am back on! Motivated, driven and confident that there will be more positive feedbacks in the future. I couldn't asses whether my client's criticism was a constructive one or the blaming one, but hey... I know there is always something to improve. Being flexible, strong and resilient keeps the head held high and sane.

How to establish emotional connections with people? 
Superficial relationships with clients, colleagues and perhaps even the family (! whoa, not great) are so easy to start and maintain but they are not connecting us to love and to our highest potential. This type of 'social agreement' doesn't challenge us to make any effort for gaining someone's likeness, sympathy, and trust to confide in us their deepest emotions.
Do you have to be born with a specific personality to be good at creating deeper connections, or is it learned?

A bit of both. Certain aspects I've learned and accepted about myself help me relate to the majority of people. I tend to get instant connections with strangers all the time! And that is a fact (ask my best friends).
Nevertheless, there are people which occur to me as up for a conflict the moment they have left their house. I can't do much about their decision. I can only question whether I've done enough on my part - I might have triggered them, but that's not my job to sort!
Is it something that's lying dormant within me that they pick up upon and try channel it out? 

Funny enough, I had lived in a monastery for one term of my studies in Uni coupla years ago. 
I didn't visit the onsite chapel once and neither I stayed celibate (definitely not), but I had respected their ways and laws, and I loved it there! I felt protected by the energy of the place. 
Regardless, there was one nun who was being so mean to me. I knew that her eyes could see right through me and they must have seen the sinner, the ho, and the wild child still ruling my life.
She was not a happy person.
Still, I tried to keep my cool, my heart open, and my wings intact.
She couldn't stand it. 

Beside that [possibly sexually frustrated] nun, there were other men and women that I couldn't please no matter what I said, didn't say, did or didn't do. But not many really. I remember a handful of past clients, and exactly 2 girls from Uni.
I have never spoken to them or about them. But apparently they spoke about me. Behind my back that is.

Clearly, we should rise above the fact that there is no way everybody will relate to us and LIKE US! We shall learn to like ourselves first, have compassion for others, and be authentic with them. Care, but know that sometimes it won't get you desirable results anyway.
Make relating to yourself your deepest and most profound connection. If you stop lying to yourself about your feelings and start dealing with every emotion within you, people will feel that they can trust you. You will have inspired them.
May many people benefit from your open heart!

"If there's to be fairness, it must come from you" - Colette Baron-Reid.

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