Sunday, November 13, 2016

Answering those random calls IS a step back. But do not despair. Even that teaches a lesson.

I don't want to bitch about him, but... Aaaargh, I feel so bad when he calls me and I am unprepared to hear about his strange relationship, him being still stuck on me and his plans to some day break up with her! Like, what for? 
Why are you still with her, even if she comes around once or twice a month? 
Do you really want to break off something so convenient??
Anyways, I am not waiting for that, right!
I am trying to plan my summer...I thought I would come over as he said he would help me with my business (I don't know why). But after this call, I have mixed feelings about his integrity again.
I should have known that he might have wanted me over, but can't do that.
That pretty much sums up his character: Dreamer. Wisher. Not in a position to deliver. Prone to melancholy. Can't do that.
Maybe I'll move somewhere cooler, like Melbourne....
I was quite composed and loving during our conversation. However, few times I couldn't help but wonder whether I was hearing signs of sneaky manipulation, or just plain bullshit. 
I really don't know why I still pick up....
I'm getting tired of his innocent calls, pretending to check up on me, when in fact he can't wait to pour his heart out about his business, her, his family and his health. When is he going to tell me something pretty?
Never. I admit I still have a weakness for this guy, but his actions speak louder than words, check this out ->
Not here, not coming, not scheduling, not helping, not in it with me.
If only he split up with her, sat down to his Toyota and drove himself to me. Here, he would apologize, took me into his arms (perhaps lifted me up, and swirl around), and then we would have a long....
I really must get him out of my mind. It's a fuckin' comedy!

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