Friday, November 11, 2016

Is being loved enough?

During tonight's session of 5rhythms we danced to Be For Real by Leonard Cohen. I had no idea he had passed away on the 10th. I used to enjoy his personality encrypted in his writings. I must say that tonight I got triggered by these particular lyrics "I don't want to be hurt by love again". It striked me as something very commonly heard, yet void of any rationality. I would feel compelled to comment on that, were I involved in some philosophical discussion. I feel positive that Cohen would love to debate about that!
How can one be hurt by love?

Love doesn't hurt! (Oops, another famous song got it wrong)
Love is love. A pure loving energy.

It couldn't have been love that hurt you but your beliefs about how love should look like, the context in which you saw the world, your expectations, and your reasons for staying in a situation where any heartbreak could occur. The heart wouldn't break, but your dreams or your pride would.

It isn't love that stabs in the back - Whatever it is, if it hurts, it must be something else. Perhaps some neglect of personal needs, minimal self-love, non-involvment in your lover's needs, unaddressed jealousy, inflexibility of the mind, fear, resistance to change, and non-acceptance of who you are and who you could become - nothing sounds like love to me.

It seems to me truer now more than ever that Love is when you accept the other person unconditionally, and wish them to be happy. Maybe they want other lovers while still loving you, maybe they want to leave you while still loving you. Love doesn't choose.

When I receive His text saying "I love you" .. I still melt, but I also know that being loved by Him is not going to make my life a happier or more abundant place.

Being loved by someone will not save you.
Being in love with life, and giving love to yourself and others will.

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