Tuesday, November 1, 2016

About Sexual Longing

On my blog, there's no policy for keeping chaste, single with no sex, no policy for narrow-mindedness. Only policy for No Bullshit, No Judgment, and No Hurting Others By Cheating And Having Secrets. (I was guilty of all of that in the past, especially Having Secrets and I am going to bare all my secrets soon) 

So please, let's be human and honest here. I am not an advocate of promiscuity, neither of too long a celibacy. But then again - sometimes being safely promiscuous helps to keep oneself busy doing stuff that you'd rather be doing than dreaming about your ex, calling the one who doesn't want you, or harming yourself in any other way (alcohol, drugs, too much TV??) On the other note- what is it too long without sex? It is surely an individual thing. One week was too long for me when I got used to regular intercourse, one month was too long when I was in a long-distance relationship, but four months and half felt almost like nothing when I just didn't feel the need to leave my cocoon and meet other people. I needed that time of silence for mind clearing and my spiritual body cleansing. Ok, the first month I felt like an addict going through some pretty bad withdrawal symptoms: Constant, CONSTANT thinking about sex! It was so distracting and I couldn't stop fidgeting, masturbating or spacing out just to imagine him kissing me everywhere.
If you don't have any physical needs, no sexual desires, and never felt horny, then probably this POST isn't for you, but if you are going through a heartbreak, keep checking some other posts please! ;)

*A little side note: I have not yet read the Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman but it wouldn't surprise me, if my language is "physical touch" out of the other four: receiving gifts, spending quality time, words of affirmation, and acts of service (devotion). But looking at that - I love to serve and being served, too! There should be nothing wrong with a sexual woman, right? Anyhow, I would like to keep it low at the moment as my past problems were the sooner the sex, the sooner the breaking up, and the worse the disillusionment. 

Back to what is on my heart today. Do you know how I came to realize that I was ready to connect with someone new without having Him at the back of my mind? The day he did not cross my mind for a second while masturbating. So that was some news. I believe that no matter what you are telling yourself now about the person you once slept with, he/she could not be the best. If they were, they would have stayed and you guys would be between the sheets ever after.

If you like the human touch like I do, you'd know that you’re nearly OUT once the particular person doesn’t figure in your wildest dreams. The best healing happens if you can figure this out all alone, without an actual substitute for him/her in the bed. If you masturbate often or every day (I think you could, I find it very satisfying) it is a great practice to love your body and enjoy the ecstasy alone whenever you feel like. The other day, I didn't need to consciously try to push him out of my naughty head because he wasn’t there. It was me, my body, and an imaginary, mysterious masculine presence to make the experience more exciting. 

(Alright, I also overheard my building manager on the phone outside, and he has the most soothing voice I know!) Whatever works...

Also, don't get upset if every now and then your ex does come back to "haunt" you (in the bed) ! Until we break through the healing process, they may still visit in the erotic dreams. What can I say, stop resisting and enjoy the ride? Because if there is no one new yet, he/she is still 'the best'.

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Note: If you are concerned about my non-native grammar, you can contact me and volunteer to become my editor.