Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Good sense of DRAMA

Why do people create drama?
Believe it or not, it’s not because they need attention to satisfy their vanity. In fact, they need attention for they are hurting and operating from unconscious beliefs about the world. Drama is their way of feeling “safe”, yet staying deeply unhappy.

In Don’t Let Anything Dull Your Sparkle by Doreen Virtue, the author describes childhood situations which may trigger the unconscious need for re-creating dramatic environments.

Oftentimes it is quite difficult to recognize when we’re actually causing it to happen…

Drama is alluring because it’s familiar and falsely tricks us into “feeling alive”. 
I haven’t finished the book yet (it happens quite a a lot lately - I’ve hardly read a book from cover to cover this past year), but I agree with many of Doreen's observations.

If we’ve been accustomed to keeping on our toes over the course of childhood and adolescence, it is what we’ll unconsciously try to recreate in adulthood to achieve those familiar, even if yucky, feelings.
Relationships take the biggest toll.

I know men and women who had violent parents, and despite not growing into violent people themselves, they still manage to find partners with several dysfunctional behaviors. They tend to put themselves in dramatic situations of which they are not even aware of. The partnership is that "familiar" that they don't wonder about its workability anymore.

Anyhow, too much drama never works. 
It is a masochistic habit, most likely unconscious, and from my own experience - it is too easy to get caught up in the “story” of one’s struggle and to stay there. Resigned. Not changing seemingly doesn’t take any effort, however, staying in that drama is so energy depleting and deeply unenjoyable that an actual effort to pull oneself out of the story could only yield the opposite results.
Stepping out is energizing, enlivening, and clearly - it brings little or no drama over time.

In 2015, I was observing Him, and the people he surrounded himself with, and I could see how drama was interlaced in everything that was happening in his life. He definitely always stayed on his toes. Enough about him now, or I could throw up tonight’s dinner.

I used to wonder how I attracted someone like him, or any drama queen, into my life. Why?

Having the pretty habit of thinking "I am always right" (not perfect, but right), I thought it was only fair to complain about the “drama people" I kept meeting, and the pain they brought into my life.
Not my fault. Theirs. Let's scream and shout about it!
Was that called "aliveness"? Did I ever stop to think that it might have been me, the DRAMA QUEEN?! Only Doreen’s book has stripped the veil off. I had a hard look at myself!

It downed on me that I attracted those people and situations because I unconsciously craved drama. It felt familiar to what I've seen during my upbringing. My parents weren’t violent (severely), but let me tell you, there was too much drama at home. I never ceased to keep on my toes.

After consciously analyzing my patterns and the behavior that had led me to troubles, I decided I had enough. M
y life took 360 degree turn when I surrendered the outdated, never true, need for creating drama.

If we focus on releasing "the need for drama" with awareness and forgiveness, visualizing something more harmonious, we’ll make it happen. After all, all the drama queens have always resented their broken home!
It’s never too late.








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