(watch the video below and read this to get rid off old belief systems )
Rowena told me that my ex and his new woman were taking it to the next level.
I felt a confusion - Does it hurt or what??!
I didn't believe it should, yet it did switch something on...
After our hour-long phone call discussing deeply philosophical matters and some silly and cheerful bullshit, I sat with my feelings... What was that remaining shadow of a nasty feeling that reminded me of the past?
Begining to tap on the karate chop, I let my intuition do the talking.
"Even though I am sad that he's committing to someone else..
no... even though I am sad that I wasn't worth his committing to me, I still love accept and forgive myself now..."
Then I tapped along on my head, eyebrows, under the eyes, under the nose, on the chin, collar bone and under the arm... just speaking my heart out loud.... whatever came over me...
"Am I feeling jealous.... no, I am not feeling jealous... Do I want him... no fucking way I don't want him..... I feel I'm just not ready - not good enough - to move onto someone new so soon..."
While talking I would figure out that the next round I shall start by:
"Even though I feel that I am never good enough, I still love accept and forgive myself now...."
It felt like I woke that inner most-dominant thought from the dungeons of my psyche where it was unconsciously running and ruining my life.
As I was tapping, I understood that I still felt not good enough in context with him, but it had nothing to do with us separating or him having a new love in his life. I saw how funny my 'feelings' were - those emotions had nothing to do with him! Haha...
Not him...But me.
It was all about me, I am comparing myself, I am feeling sorry that I have no new romance to talk about, and I am still pushing love away because I feel not good enough.
Nevertheless, the more I repeated that I wasn't good enough, the more it rang as a lie! It felt untrue... as if I set an old broken record on repeat.
Genuine laughter and a sense of relief flooded me. It became too ridiculous to keep tapping on "not being good enough"...
My last round started like this:
"Even though I USED TO feel not good enough, I still love accept and forgive myself now..."
Such a simple technique and such profound results! I freed myself from an unconscious lie that was ruining my life!
Btw. Rowena and I concluded that he wasn't the brightest guy in the world and I confessed that he never ever told me anything that interesting or stimulating and I was always afraid he'd eventually bore me to death, hadn't it been for the good sex that kept us together.
I must look for someone with whom I could have deep and meaningful conversations.
I will do.
Once I tire of my own company.