Yes, it is Sunday - that’s how long it took to recover! (JK)
There won’t be any smart-ass 5 bullets, but there will be some wise words…
Despite not wanting it to become a tradition, I came to like the thought of making a room for a glass of wine once a week.
I don’t go out on weekends (Darwin’s - well, nevermind!) to satisfy my resveratrol and fermented beverage cravings; therefore, the ’party day’ falls in the middle of the week. It seems to break up the adult’s routine nicely.
On Wednesday I hung out with my friend T.
Something minor happened that morning that reminded me of a major trauma I had experienced as a 15-year-old. I used that pain as an excuse to well, have more than my usual one glass!
Indeed, I didn’t live in the present moment that day. Instead, I was taken back nearly 16 years into the past, where I received a very bad news.
Almost identical news then have repeated in my life in different forms and shapes periodically - I even began expecting those without a doubt.
I knew about that outdated program of mine, of course, I did.
(You know how sneaky those are!)
I was aware of my own recreating of it somehow. Over the last decade, I tried different modalities to heal myself from the shock. I wanted to prevent slipping back into the pattern of unwittingly choosing the kinds of people and places which would eventually trigger that type of trauma again. I can’t tell you how many times I was reminded of the scared 15-year-old girl though!
Obviously, based on my Wednesday’s panic attack, I had not succeeded in overcoming that obstacle.
(Spoiler alert - the issue got resolved and things are back to normal/not so normal)
The point is - how long before yet another similar event strikes?
On Thursday I felt grateful for my inability to think (due to ehm, a headache) The more I analyze myself and the things past, the messier it gets. That must be why I like CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), coaching and Dr. Dispenza’s research. These don’t care about Freud and his reasons!
No more thinking about my childhood and finding explanations for my re-creating of familiar negative experiences.
I listened to Dispenza again, and I began implementing his strategies on myself at last.
The past is past.
Here I am today, and I must train my body into feeling safe.
Yes, my body - not the brain.
We usually relate fear to memories of something that happened to us or others in the past which we immediately project into the future.
As per Dr. Dispenza’s research, we must stay present and create the future from nothing.
The muscle memory of the body is so ingrained though. People get involuntary panic attacks, people get repeatedly unwell, damn - people get cancer because of things past for which they haven’t forgiven.
That is my belief anyway.
Unforgiveness is not my case. (Funny, I just picked up cards 96 - FORGIVENESS and 6 - LOVE. Well, my angels know best!)
I was aware of my own recreating of it somehow. Over the last decade, I tried different modalities to heal myself from the shock. I wanted to prevent slipping back into the pattern of unwittingly choosing the kinds of people and places which would eventually trigger that type of trauma again. I can’t tell you how many times I was reminded of the scared 15-year-old girl though!
Obviously, based on my Wednesday’s panic attack, I had not succeeded in overcoming that obstacle.
(Spoiler alert - the issue got resolved and things are back to normal/not so normal)
The point is - how long before yet another similar event strikes?
On Thursday I felt grateful for my inability to think (due to ehm, a headache) The more I analyze myself and the things past, the messier it gets. That must be why I like CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), coaching and Dr. Dispenza’s research. These don’t care about Freud and his reasons!
No more thinking about my childhood and finding explanations for my re-creating of familiar negative experiences.
I listened to Dispenza again, and I began implementing his strategies on myself at last.
The past is past.
Here I am today, and I must train my body into feeling safe.
Yes, my body - not the brain.
We usually relate fear to memories of something that happened to us or others in the past which we immediately project into the future.
As per Dr. Dispenza’s research, we must stay present and create the future from nothing.
The muscle memory of the body is so ingrained though. People get involuntary panic attacks, people get repeatedly unwell, damn - people get cancer because of things past for which they haven’t forgiven.
That is my belief anyway.
Unforgiveness is not my case. (Funny, I just picked up cards 96 - FORGIVENESS and 6 - LOVE. Well, my angels know best!)
Could it be mistrust? (Therefore, I DO need to forgive - God, myself, those who were involved.)
My mind has her own explanations; my body, however, keeps an emotional score of the ground opening up beneath my feet and swallowing me whole 16 years ago, upon hearing the bad news.
Apparently, we have to focus on healing the body’s learned response, instead of trying to analyze why we do what we do.
I will focus on creating an emotional safety net around that event and my body. Such intention will cause new feelings - those of trust. If I trust that I am, and have always been, moving in the right direction - NOT towards doom (as previously anticipated), I will make better - different - choices and take new actions. Behavior in alignment with my deeper desires? Yes, please!
The body will soon start to relax and trust me.
I do not want to have childish (literally) excuses for fearing certain outcomes possibly happening anytime, anywhere in the futire.
My mind has her own explanations; my body, however, keeps an emotional score of the ground opening up beneath my feet and swallowing me whole 16 years ago, upon hearing the bad news.
Apparently, we have to focus on healing the body’s learned response, instead of trying to analyze why we do what we do.
I will focus on creating an emotional safety net around that event and my body. Such intention will cause new feelings - those of trust. If I trust that I am, and have always been, moving in the right direction - NOT towards doom (as previously anticipated), I will make better - different - choices and take new actions. Behavior in alignment with my deeper desires? Yes, please!
The body will soon start to relax and trust me.
I do not want to have childish (literally) excuses for fearing certain outcomes possibly happening anytime, anywhere in the futire.
Present moment, Pavlina, present moment and pure consciousness...
Trust is a big theme. (Now, Dr. Dispenza didn't talk about that, but...)
Have you ever wondered how much your body actually trusts that you’ve got its back? That Life/Universe has got your back? - you might be great at tricking yourself, talking your mind into something, or denying it and then hoping for the best - but it never quite works, does it…
I suggest that we address the malware in the manifesting autopilot, turn it off and chuck it out!
Feeling so wise today,
here are my (or Angels') final words which came to me during a little meditation in the swimming pool:
”There is always a path of the least resistance. That path is still in an alignment with your values and desires but additionally, that is where you don’t need to compromise yourself or anyone else. You already have all that it takes to walk that path.”
Let's create something new from a place of 'nothing'.
It made so much sense, it answered everything.
I can see clearly what I have to do.
Ponder it for yourself. What are you going to do to heal on all levels?
Trust is a big theme. (Now, Dr. Dispenza didn't talk about that, but...)
Have you ever wondered how much your body actually trusts that you’ve got its back? That Life/Universe has got your back? - you might be great at tricking yourself, talking your mind into something, or denying it and then hoping for the best - but it never quite works, does it…
I suggest that we address the malware in the manifesting autopilot, turn it off and chuck it out!
Feeling so wise today,
here are my (or Angels') final words which came to me during a little meditation in the swimming pool:
”There is always a path of the least resistance. That path is still in an alignment with your values and desires but additionally, that is where you don’t need to compromise yourself or anyone else. You already have all that it takes to walk that path.”
Let's create something new from a place of 'nothing'.
It made so much sense, it answered everything.
I can see clearly what I have to do.
Ponder it for yourself. What are you going to do to heal on all levels?
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