I invite them to nourish their hearts with this all loving, all accepting energy flowing from the earth through all their seven chakras.
I want them to trust...
to open their hearts, and let love in...
I want them to receive love, so they can give love...
But - I don’t do that myself.
Once again, I had slipped into some hypocritical teaching before I had the chance to catch myself.
My heart shut somewhat. Particularly in Darwin, where I have not allowed myself to receive much of anything.
My heart shut somewhat. Particularly in Darwin, where I have not allowed myself to receive much of anything.
During two-hour long shamanic healing done on me, my guide Patricia gently brought to light a ridiculous truth that I had kept stashed away.
Yes, I am the most loving, generous and all-accepting friend one has ever known, yet I don’t let others in.
Never.
I am so afraid I would get hurt, rejected, betrayed or outcast, that I shut off or run. I open up to others just enough to connect, and I give a lot to cover the fact that I can’t receive.
Never.
I am so afraid I would get hurt, rejected, betrayed or outcast, that I shut off or run. I open up to others just enough to connect, and I give a lot to cover the fact that I can’t receive.
Have you heard the term: The art of receiving?
I am not talking (just) about money.
More like: Letting love in.
For so long, I’ve lived in denial of my life-long brokenheartedness.
In the integration of solar plexus chakra (the center of personal power) and coming into the heart chakra week, I felt the best in months.
It was also the week of my birthday. So much love flew into my life from everywhere around the world. People I haven’t heard from/seen in ages and also past lovers and boyfriends sent me lovely birthday wishes. I felt loved and knew that I must have done something right to keep all these amazing friendships and relationships alive. How else could I’ve deserved so much affection?
I was housesitting my friend’s beautiful sun-lit penthouse apartment with a terrace in Milton, where I spent most mornings soaking up the sun-rays. I couldn’t have felt more blessed.
Dancing 5rhythms the day after sealed all the amazing new-found power of love and instilled a desire to engage more in my community.
What is my community?
I’m discovering that those are new-age healers, dancers, hippies, wounded humanitarians and open-minded travelers.
In the integration of solar plexus chakra (the center of personal power) and coming into the heart chakra week, I felt the best in months.
It was also the week of my birthday. So much love flew into my life from everywhere around the world. People I haven’t heard from/seen in ages and also past lovers and boyfriends sent me lovely birthday wishes. I felt loved and knew that I must have done something right to keep all these amazing friendships and relationships alive. How else could I’ve deserved so much affection?
I was housesitting my friend’s beautiful sun-lit penthouse apartment with a terrace in Milton, where I spent most mornings soaking up the sun-rays. I couldn’t have felt more blessed.
Dancing 5rhythms the day after sealed all the amazing new-found power of love and instilled a desire to engage more in my community.
What is my community?
I’m discovering that those are new-age healers, dancers, hippies, wounded humanitarians and open-minded travelers.
Yes. That is where I fit in.
I followed my heart’s whispers and moved to Byron Bay. Today.
City and money chasing don’t make me happy for I am not materialistic and I like to rebel against the mold.
How I began learning to receive:
Since the commencement of my Kundalini healing series, I’ve been exchanging massages with my girl friend, a shiatsu therapist. I give her a relaxing oil massage and she gives me her firm touch or a heat therapy with a chinese herbal pouch.
I dedicate my spare time to continuing growing and healing (e.g. shamanic transformation, dancing, sound therapy, and reading)
I followed my heart’s whispers and moved to Byron Bay. Today.
City and money chasing don’t make me happy for I am not materialistic and I like to rebel against the mold.
How I began learning to receive:
Since the commencement of my Kundalini healing series, I’ve been exchanging massages with my girl friend, a shiatsu therapist. I give her a relaxing oil massage and she gives me her firm touch or a heat therapy with a chinese herbal pouch.
I dedicate my spare time to continuing growing and healing (e.g. shamanic transformation, dancing, sound therapy, and reading)
Moreover, this celibacy thing (only 3 months to go!) hasn’t stopped me from enjoying some male attention, too.
I received a relatively innocent steamy loving during my root chakra integration week coming into the sensual sacral chakra - which only made sense. Not only that stranger was a perfect (and hot) fit for such an integration, but I discovered what emotions I need from my next partner. I’ll never forget that guy!
Yesterday I had a dinner with such a nice man who also wanted to give a bit more to me, so I let him.
It is a big deal for me.
I know I may seem naughty and perhaps cheating a little durning my commitment to a year without an intercourse, but honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way! I need to spice up such vow with surviving on sweetly pleasurable physicalities.
I deserve it.
I received a relatively innocent steamy loving during my root chakra integration week coming into the sensual sacral chakra - which only made sense. Not only that stranger was a perfect (and hot) fit for such an integration, but I discovered what emotions I need from my next partner. I’ll never forget that guy!
Yesterday I had a dinner with such a nice man who also wanted to give a bit more to me, so I let him.
It is a big deal for me.
I know I may seem naughty and perhaps cheating a little durning my commitment to a year without an intercourse, but honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way! I need to spice up such vow with surviving on sweetly pleasurable physicalities.
I deserve it.
How that helps:
After a long day of doing what I need in order to feel the flow of love in my life, I receive an inquiry about a Tantra session, possibly shortly.
I reply: Yes, I am available. Can meet you in 1 hour, just after 9pm.
This felt true to my heart and thus I didn’t have to push myself to fit in more work at the end of the day, arranged at the last minute.
The reason was simple: My battery was fully charged. I received that day; therefore, I was ready to give.
Why haven’t I thought of this healthy give and take before?
I wrote it here once before. Especially women should start asking :
“How much can I receive today?”
It appears that the key to attracting healthy and loving relationships (at least in my case) is not giving more, but letting in more - as in learning to receive. I used to feel unworthy of receiving, but obviously, just giving depletes me. Giving and receiving in equal measures makes me serve my purpose better.
I’m beginning to feel deserving of such abundance!
I praise life as one big adventure.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Let me know what you think, what you are getting for yourself out of this post, or what you are not getting...
Note: If you are concerned about my non-native grammar, you can contact me and volunteer to become my editor.