Sunday, May 14, 2017

Depth of Clarity (workshop)

Getting clear on certain matters in our lives is a must…. However, analyzing doesn't always work.

This weekend's 5rhythms dance workshop by David Juriansz (MovingEssence) brought a new level of presence to my thought process and it expanded my heart in exchange.

How was 'letting your head go' and dropping into the body to find the answers?

It was delicious, magnificent, perfect, effortless, awesome, fun, inspiring and transformative. And sweaty, of course.

My notes from yesterday:

In a dance, start by embodying your shadows… the opposites of what you think you should be… In my case it was: the slut, the whore, the nomad, the needy woman, the nutcase…

Don’t just ‘accept’ it, be it - embody it - play with it, and love it.

My perceived ’problem’ used to be constant closing off, opening up, then closing off, and again… Am I a fickle butterfly? Indecisive? Split??
What is it like to dance my confusion, my inconsistent nature, the randomness of my actions?

Let’s play the game playfully. Closing off isn't necessarily a bad thing if I have fun with it, if I play it long enough, get bored, thus start opening up to a new attitude, perception, way of looking at things…

Soften into your confusion - acknowledge your sloppiness…
be friendly with it.

Today, the last day of the workshop, I started a little activated… My driver (a fellow dancer, Rick) arrived later than we agreed upon, so I was worried we wouldn’t get to the event on time, and thus disappoint the facilitator.. 
I’ve had my share of late arrivals and the necessary apologies for restoring my integrity… so I understood. However, since doing few “Integrity seminars” that’s not to be expected of me anymore. I am all about integrity in punctuality these days.

Off the record- when my clients arrive late - I don’t like it, but I can understand it. When they arrive super early, 10 minutes plus, I somehow perceive it just as rude as being late and unannounced.
The top of all rudeness was when a new client, a woman who wanted my coaching on a sensitive topic, arrived 1 hour and half earlier! She texted me at 10:15 that she is soon getting off of the bus and would be at my place at 10:30… hmmm… what happened to our appointment at 12pm?????

I was out, living my life, but I said, mhm, ok, let me catch a cab….
Then I, amateur, gave her also an extra hour FREE OF CHARGE.

Ok. My fault. I’m just a life coach junior …

Rick and I managed to miraculously arrive right on time. The time we were told the previous night… but the overall thing started 30 minutes late anyway! (just as always).

What did I discover today?


I love that spontaneous realization. Oftentimes, when we feel unloved, lonely, misunderstood, or we feel our lovers don’t feel the same about us, we latch onto them, trying to 'change their minds', squeeze out more love, but love is really all around us… there was so much love on the dance floor today!

How did I finally embody CLARITY?
I declared it out loud.
When deciding, FOLLOW YOUR HEART.

I started loving hugs…. The random hugs from random people. Some hugs are so frickin’ supercharged. Luckily, we are able to choose to let only love in… 
As people, we cary lots of unhelpful shit too, we store energies that should have been expelled long time ago, but in our defense we are also so full of infinite love. When interacting with others, we can choose to let only love in - Only love gets to get in!
Receive. Give. Feel the goodness. And that’s it.

I used to pick up on people’s shit, and soak it up like a sponge… but I don’t do that anymore. The resolution was a conscious choice. A respectful one, but definitely one reflecting my new, higher level of self-love and self-respect. I have boundaries: I am here to support - but I am not here to “carry your shit”.

God is my infinite source of love and wisdom. I want to ground myself there, and not feel hungry for human unconditional love. It exists - but it’s not the only source, and it needs to be given the space to roam free….

Regarding the clarity for my next ventures, studies and relationships… ugh. Tough cookie. The confusion is gone, or rather the negative emotion due to the perceived confusion by the story I invented... so, I am waiting for CLARITY to step in. (
Overnight, please??)

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