Should we keep on agreeing with people's defense mechanisms to which they are so oblivious?
Perhaps I'm just justifying my recent action.
You are withholding yours from people. Unless you're willing to give it freely, give more of yourself, become bare and vulnerable, you will keep on getting what your getting and meeting whom you're meeting. I'm sure those dates could have been great women, but they couldn't get through your invisible barriers.
You said you were my friend, but when I shared about J you didn't try to understand me and judged me instead. My real friend just listened last night without being smart about what happened or making judgments. She felt my pain, and offered her compassion. Nothing more was needed.
Please do not contact me for the next few weeks. Just observe yourself. I hope you'll find your unicorn - in the ideal world where you're surely a prince charming.
If not, love every second without pigeonholing people.
Take care of yourself, don't drink down your emotions as you're just avoiding facing your demons and pushing love further away. Love has many forms and expressions. Sometimes we learn it through tears. No one promised it would be easy. Either way, tears are cleansing and lead to the heart expanding more. Mine expanded, but yours is contracted and cold.
And timing is essential.
When I looked into J’s sparkling eyes the other night, I saw what I had been avoiding to see nearly all my life…. that we were all one.
We are all connected… what I’ll do unto him, he will do unto the mother of his children, his children, his colleagues, and then they will do same unto others… There is nothing as words and actions without consequences….
We are all designers of our own happiness, but frankly, how often do we get it 'right'? Not always. So we have to play the cards we were dealt with and adjust our attitudes accordingly.
I chose love and surrender that night, confident that he would pass that on - unto others.
This is how I explain what I said to Steve. I care about him enough to let him know what I think about his actions. He may decide to take an offense from my mega long text (ok, I could have called), or he may choose that it is time to stop being a big baby that got hurt long time ago, harbors resentments, and is judgmental of others, and start being more loving and compassionate. Compassion and love breeds more of the same in others... The reaction to someone embodying those is usually positive and causes a desirable domino effect.
It's time to become the warriors of light & heart.
- Marianne Williamson