I just ate the last 1/3 of almond butter.
I also started drinking the wine J. Had no idea about …
I'm experiencing a little of the ‘mind-fuck’ he had once called ‘this’ before.
Hard to describe what happened. I feel like I have feelings for him when he’s near me. It is delightful talking to him and feeling his positive energy and all the good intentions of his unconditionally-loving aura… honestly, I have never experienced a man so pure… I know he has his vices and blah blah… I am actually sick and tired of people shaming him in front of me just because he strayed from his partner of nearly 20 years…
There are so very few men who would say at 21: Right, I am going to be a dad, let’s stick with this seven years older woman through her pregnancy, motherhood and all the shitty times afterward…
I can’t help it, I adore this man.
When I settled myself in his embrace, I started crying uncontrollably and could hardly stop…
Somehow I composed myself and stayed in the present ever since.
We kissed and hugged.
I had not seen him for one year, yet he still had that effect on me.
Nothing more happened.
Sitting here alone now, I can still smell his deodorant, and it’s making me feel very relaxed and loved and loving...
No Adam, D., Little birdie or Thor produced those amounts of chemistry…
According to his latest message, he’s feeling somewhat healed…
To which I replied: "Yeah, I feel great too."
- but not at all!
Overdosing on almond butter and extra wine was probably quite helpful, and the least damage I could anticipate for myself whenever feeling left alone. Also, this comedy channel is doing its fair share to cheer me up, but I am not healed.
Having met this man last year always seemed somewhat fatal. I know I can cherish this spiritual connection.
Having met this man last year always seemed somewhat fatal. I know I can cherish this spiritual connection.
It is not hard to maintain a friendship with J. at all, I am just releasing what needs to be released and making way for something similar, but different, and thus, new altogether...
The more surprising, the better.
'Familiar' does not always indicate 'favorable'.
Anyway...
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