Sunday, December 31, 2017

I guess it's a New Year's resolution

Update on my decision for celibacy before meeting the man I'll happily fall in love with, be able to imagine as my loving and protective husband, who will be just as crazy about us and determined to stay with me and make love to me for as long as we make sense to each other:

Yep, I still stand by it.

Without any pretense - I find it incredibly hard at times. I’ve always had a naturally high sexual appetite, tremendous curiosity regarding the body and physicalities, and I get so horny just before my period…

I nearly made a mistake last week and hooked up with Thor, nearly, but fate stepped in. The next day I spoke with my sister about possibly making an exception, since T. is a previous sex partner, and “we are still in 2017….”
No. She had the most well-meant arguments on the planet, and her brutal cutting off my wings sent me back to reality. However, as a result, it brought back my self-esteem.

I don’t need to fuck every time I feel lonely.

Today, I’m standing in my power and just as my sis reminded me, I'm being aware of the sweet fruits this cautiousness regarding my sex-life shall bring. When I finally meet the one I’ve been longing for, he’ll receive my waiting body as an added bonus to my super-duper awesome personality. It is so sad to waste my gifts in a casual bed-buddy thing, where the other party doesn’t care about what everything I’m made of. If I take myself for granted - they can, too. 
If I knew what I deserved, I appreciated and loved myself - why shouldn’t they?

This is the time for a new approach.
I forgave myself for that momentary weakness experienced last week. In fact, I'm glad - I learned a lot!

Thank you, my sister, for acting as my guide and re-directing me to the path I chose when I had a clear head and a clear vision for my future relationship.
I loved it!

Happy new year! 
May 2018 be our best year yet x
(I know, it is quite contingent)

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