I've lived off of my suitcase for the past 3 weeks, and it was awesome! Sometimes I didn't even unpack it all, doing just fine with one T-shirt, leggings and some cosmetics.
I remember people telling me in the past in a motherly/fatherly tone: "You can't be a nomad all your life, Pavlina...."
Well, perhaps not all the life to come, but so far so good! I've always felt the safest on the run, and maybe it's time to acknowledge it as something rather positive. I am one with variety and I need to change a scenery often. The gypsy blood in me just feels like 'home' everywhere on the Mother Earth!
I'm mildly scared by all the stuff I own. Luckily, it's probably nowhere near to what most people own - at least those who own their own apartment/house. Well, it's never been my case!
It will be fun selling all the [already cheap] furniture, and giving away piles of clothes, shoes, and books...
Yeah of course... it will be. fun. I think.
I feel quite detached from my apartment now. Especially after letting it to several Airbnb people who left their energy behind. The place was mine, but it's not mine.
I have a new calling, you could say... It's a plan (omg, I have a plan?! Possibly for the first time in my life.)
There will be a lot of dancing in the beginning, but it's going to evolve into something much bigger.
I'm not sure how the following quote relates to what I just mentioned. Regardless, it's a reflection of my new expansiveness that's bursting to get out into the Universe and impact and empower more people... young people.
You see, I was all that I described in the part I. post. Perhaps I haven't been yet what I did not describe, but at the same time, it has always been there - within me.
So how does one answer "Who am I?", when there are so many identities we adopt, even if for a while, then ditch for a while or forever, and some we only entertain in the privacy of our minds. Those public ones tend to lead to better/improved/new identities which couldn't have been initially picked up without some kind of prior knowledge, or trial and error. Whereas the imaginary identities lead to.... Crazy ??!
In Margot Anand's (a world-known Tantric guru) outrageously honest and mind-blowing book: Love, Sex, and Awakening, she cites a Vietnamese Buddhist Monk, Thich Nhat Hanh.
According to Margot, Thich Nhat Hanh
"advocates doing everything we can to protect and heal those who have been molested and also those who are the molesters - because they are sick and, if not helped, will perpetrate similar crimes on the next generation."¹
Passions are always there, within. We don't need to look for them.
We have integrity when we pursue a path that feels right, as if we were born to do so. People can feel if the heart is in it or not!