Sunday, August 6, 2017

On Self-Discipline #fitness #horniness

I'm surprised but I do have some self-discipline! It takes a lot of food-guilt before I actually bring myself to exercise (and it is always at the “wrong” time than what I initially planned) but in the end, it is me running along the river at 9pm.
Ok. 6pm. Today. I did have
nearly-midnight runs in the past though!
I am not exaggerating. I used to work at nights, I would go to bed in the morning, therefore a midnight jog wasn’t a big deal. 24/7 gyms don’t exist for nothing!
This time it wasn’t the New Farm peninsula with its calm(ish) Brisbane river… It was the Swan river in Perth’s CBD.

Great story- in the dusk I saw something what looked like a crocodile swimming towards me, so I stopped and waited with my mouth open - it could have been the experience of my lifetime!
Well, it turned out to be a duck. I love Perth! It’s been so good to me so far (didn’t get eaten by the duck).
Back to my self-discipline.

It’s been nine days since living off of my suitcase, and I perform yoga asanas every single day. Not always in the morning just after waking, hence the guilt, not always for at least 30 minutes, hence trying to jog too, but every day a few postures for at least a little bit.
I eat too much chocolate though, so yoga wouldn't do.
Sadly, pilates on my own proved to be so damn hard! I do some exercises on the hotel room floor but those must look so laughably lame!
That’s where I struggle, I just don’t enjoy strenuous exercise solo in 10m³.
How come it took three months to acquire an exquisite butt and only one week to loose it?!

So I am booked for a free 'gym tour' tomorrow (pretending I am moving to Perth). 
The visit is freaking me out. There’s something about gyms that I gave up nearly a year ago that I don’t miss. Hard to describe what exactly, but I suspect it’s the chore, the mindless ritual, the 'all lights on me', the mirrors, the heavy breathing, the noises of big weights falling down to the floor… just can’t stand it. But they have classes. Yoga and pilates along with a collective motivation to keep moving and burning… 
Surprisingly, I'm still observing emerging abs on me. Finally! -At the age of 30.
Ah yes, my 30th was sweet. Very calm. I left after midnight and two of my guests were still going. I can’t keep up with those 20year-olds anymore. Thank God I enjoyed myself when I was young! 👅

Back to the self-discipline.

I am horny. I know that by default - anything that I write here comes to the Universal attention to either rebut it or take it to fruition. For example, in November I wrote that I was feeling frisky, and out of nowhere an old fling, Adam, appeared again (btw. not his real name of course). 
Then there were the posts where I nearly swore I wouldn’t do such and such thing, and then - the next day my resolution went out of the window. Not only that - it made a perfect sense to do so for the sake of my GROWTH. Like, fuck the rules and all the self-imposed limits, embrace the curious rebel! (always in the cases of J and D boys)
I admit that certain songs remind me of D, and I still treasure memories of our provocative conversations. I loved how it felt.

From tomorrow J is supposed to be around the corner… totally a coincidence that we’re in the same city outside of Brisbane at the same time ( I SWEAR!), but, I blocked his number…
I’m seeking something new…
However, if we bumped into each other, who knows what may happen?!
Perhaps my newly-acknowledged self-discipline knows...
It's whispering that it's time to go and masturbate myself to sleep.





Trying to look happy while working out alone in the hotel room


post-workout when really happy. even with a zit
Pre-party and ready to drink some red wine!





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