We went for a run along the river outlining Brisbane's CBD, ate a delicious dinner, and after that I got pampered to the best Tantric experience with him so far. I’ve only written about my first experience some time in February as it was quite intense: a tingling orgasm, some visions, and lots of internal tension came to the surface to be released. The other two or three Tantra massages he gave me in the following months were also special, yet the final releases quite ordinary. Once, before the detox program - I slept through the entire massage as I had overdone the wine during the dinner. Luckily, I know Walter quite well by now, I trust him and I never worry that he would take advantage of me just lying there (drunk).
P.S: Yeah, please, do not drink alcohol before having a Tantra massage - as nothing happens then.
Last night I felt quite tired (and I had actually someone new on my mind! psst), so I decided that I would just enjoy the touch, the coconut oil gliding along my body, the sensual music, but not really pay attention to my breathing… I didn’t want to try to direct the breath towards climax, I needed only an utter relaxation.
However, my body showed me its 'muscle memory' once more. In the end it had me breathing deeply exactly as what Margot Anand describes “riding the wave of bliss”, which to my surprise finally became a second nature to me. No effort to breathe that way anymore.
I kept breathing, feeling the fiery energy warming up my spine, inviting the energy all the way up to my crown chakra and really being aware of the pelvic area as the seat of arousal and relaxation at the same time. Something wanted to be released. It was so funny, I knew that it was J’s energy! It had me laughing - out loud!
Walter, also smiling, couldn't understand my giggles, so when I came down I explained that a perceived painful memory had been totally transformed into something hilarious, and then it left my body.
I experienced similar release of old lovers in the past as well. It was in the beautiful Byron Bay few months prior where I released Adam during a Craniosacral therapy with Christine.
I released Gilbert through Reiki with Lisa in 2009 or 2010, and Russel during my very first remedial massage. He got me the voucher from a gym he worked at few weeks prior to my breaking up with him. When I finally came to use it, already as a single girl, I cried uncontrollably under the lady's hands.
It was a deep tissue massage :/
My point is that bodily practices shouldn’t be underestimated even when dealing with the matters of the heart.
I had kept releasing the past energy of the biggest love of my life through conscious dance sessions for many months. Until I broke free during an intense weekend dance workshop.
Oh, how I love dancing!
Q: How did I cleanse myself after years of sleeping with unconscious men [unconsciously]? I took a break, meditated, reconnected with my heart, woke up my first 3 chakras from a deep sleep, claimed myself from the waist down once more and.... I just kept going forward, resisting temptations to run back to the familiar, and trying new things instead.
It’s recharging to pause and reflect.
Smudging with white sage is also brilliant, as well as crystals and of course…Dance, dance, dance!