Two years shorter of 40, yet…living the life of a boy half his age. Bring on all the cakes and let me eat them too! So, let’s call him J (for Joke)
A really, really good-looking man. From a distance you could see the wide, cheeky smile full of bright white teeth, and up close the perfect athletic body. I’ve always admired broad shoulders. A guy with a nice back (ass included) and strong thighs has been my kind of 'beauty ideal'. There was an instant emotional connection too (perhaps due to perfectly matching Western and Chinese star-signs?) However illusional, or real, I felt joyful each time we met or I received a cute text from him.
We shouldn’t, right, ladies and gentlemen?
It felt so empowering to kick him out of my door today.
I was becoming well aware of our chemistry… It has grown ever since I met him 2 weeks ago…We kissed on our second date and I got more hooked… despite him being a father of two children (it used to be a deal-breaker), I liked that extra identity of his.
It paid off to wait [with sex] and ask more questions today
It turned out that no. In fact, he still shared a bed with his partner, because the house was too small…
Then came the most important questions:
"Do you honestly think I will be an accomplice to your extramarital affairs? Do you honestly think I want to be someone’s mistress?"
And out of the door he went.
Shame. I am sure he would have been an excellent fuck.
But probably a worse lover.
Above all, I deserve to be seen… sure, he had no problems taking me out in the city… fairly anonymous I suppose… but I began to dream about being introduced to his kids (at some point)
Luckily, it’s banished before it could have caused any significant harm.
Unfortunately, I was too quick to judge him and the situation... I am not the best judge of the matters of the heart and someone else's drama. I felt threatened by his obligations to his family, plus I thought I was setting myself up for a personal disaster. I should have just let that flow and love him the way he was, without constructing an idealized future for us.