Saturday, April 1, 2017

Breaking up with wine (and chocolate)...

... is the hardest thing ever ?!
Why do we turn to these two substances when we feel doom and gloom?

About two weeks ago I felt like more and more wine….
Was that my PMS?
I resisted, I gave in, I resisted, I gave in; A vicious cycle.

Mind you, I never have more than two glasses - half a bottle - in one day. Mostly less.

I sat in silence and looked at my oracle cards…

Afterward I went to the fridge and pulled out a half-drunk bottle from the previous night.

(Normally, I drink my reds warm, but I put them in the fridge if I think they could last there for few more days… haha)

I said out loud:

“Wine, thank you, it was very nice to meet you. But now we have to break up. You know, long-term it wouldn't work out...
I enjoy optimism, faith, joy, and a clear mind...
If something comes across and clouds my judgment, I ask the divine for help. Thank you, God/Universe/Angels/My higher self, we will face it straight and resolve it. As always.”

Then I tipped it into the sink.

The cards that helped me with this conclusion:
Grandfather Sky
The Spirit Of Fire
Card 13 - Effort
Card 78 - Spiritual Career

So why is breaking up with wine the hardest thing ever?
Because many of us keep coming back to it!
Our little never-ending affair.

This Thursday, two weeks later since that incident, it was raining nonstop from early morning till late at night. There were floods all over the coast and I wanted to get out of the apartment, check who was alive, what was open and also to do some exercise (in a gym). 
I don’t have a car (nor open license for that matter), so I was battling the rain and wind with just my umbrella, and needless to say, I still looked as if the umbrella had holes in it.

I thought the endorphins from exercise would help, but no.
(I didn’t work hard enough?)
A bar I have around the corner was open. I didn’t have to think twice. That sort of weather called for something hot, or something warming…. Let's have some red wine!

It was so…. soothing.

Then I began reminiscing about Him… and we consequently started to text…

I had my best intention to leave after the glass was empty.
But he second glass from the barman was for free.
I must have looked like I needed it.

I got home, had a super hot shower - first in 5 months (don’t get me wrong, I shower every day, but the hot Queensland’s weather makes me enjoy cold water)

I felt much better and I also slept like a baby.

What is the difference between drinking at home alone when a little fear pops up in my head, or drinking outdoor with or without someone just because the “conditions” are calling for it?

First of all, what are the "right" conditions?

If I’m drinking because I’m sad, wine puts me down even lower. If I’m drinking because I don’t like rain and soulless streets, well, I don't feel guilty then.

Checking with my integrity...

How about drinking because I’m out, having fun and I’m happy? - that almost never happens. I don’t crave alcohol when I’m with friends, truly happy and content. 
Ok, I hardly ever go out either!

To be true to my integrity, I'd like to give up alcohol completely.
Rainy days are a childish excuse.

I feel strong and full of gratitude when I face my fears and don’t drown them in alcohol. It doesn’t matter in how little or big amounts. Resisting the quick fix is more gratifying.

If it starts to rain again, I’ll remind myself of the “wine break-up talk”.
Likewise, of my friend Olga's wise words, "the sun will soon shine again".

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