Saturday, December 3, 2016

Same same [old patterns] but different?

I still can't believe I experienced this quick and fragile romance out of nowhere this week. In one of my posts I shared how I had everything lined up since finally settling in Brisbane and putting my heart into studies and work. No room for looking for a romance. I thought that healing my heart would be through large amounts of self-love, movement, quiet contemplation, and some occasional socializing to have the loud and obsessive thoughts about Him 'muted' by outside noise. It helped, but it wasn't enough.
Little did I know that doing what I do best would bring this special and admirable man my way. No extra effort, no dramas.
I miss R. I guess I'll have to stay grateful for the little time we spent together and let it go.
I can't afford to fall back into my old patterns of fantasizing about unavailable people, travelers, passersby, or busy people.
I'm sure I can do it this time.

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