Monday, December 12, 2016

Is there " The Ultimate Break-Up Cure "?

The answer is: There is no ultimate break-up cure that will fit for everyone, and one will - and must - be making mistakes on his journey towards something different.
Sorry, relationship gurus like C.C. or R.R. But I know you need to sell your programs.

Last night I received a newsletter from one of my favorite relationship experts with the title: The ultimate break-up cure. The content was, indeed, trying to sell me the ultimate way to break free....
A large amount I agreed with because it had similar conclusions that I found for myself too. 

1. Don't play friends if there are still feelings.
2. Don't think you are a big reject or unlovable.
3. Change your patterns
4. Give yourself plenty of time to heal and move on

I don't believe that one can, or should skip those 'mistakes' on the way to recovery.
Experts are right that starting dating straight away won't work. Though, how else would you know for yourself, if you didn't try it first? 

I went on an online dating site just because I thought I should, and in fact, several people recommended that step to me. Needles to say, I haven't had a single date. All of those guys on the screen looked too dull in compare with Him. It was all only virtually, and a little superficially, assessed. I couldn't help myself but rather stayed in my bed, crying. However, I recognized I had 'options'.

Then I tried few dates with someone who had been pursuing me ever since I'd moved into his neighborhood. I didn't want to sleep with him, and he gave up. It was still too soon for me.
Few months later I decided to go all the way with someone really handsome whom I met totally at random (*Adam). I let him courting me for some time as I couldn't imagine I'd be fully 'present' during the action, but one day I was like, what the hell..let's do this. A brief affair had started, but it finished before any miracle cure happened. 
It didn't help me get over my ex in the slightest.
Luckily, he knew what was up, and it wasn't difficult for either of us to call it off.

Getting over my break-up has been a roller-coaster journey for me, and now, 6 months later (or 10 REALLY!), I feel ready to let go of any previous attachments, and perhaps get a new boyfriend... But I can't tell untill I do make the first step with someone I have met or will meet.

Getting over a break-up is an individual journey. There is no quick-fix, no theory that you can apply to save yourself tears and mistakes. I see that we need those 'mistakes' to become better-equipped, aware, more compassionate and more loving human beings.
What I believe one needs, rather than a signed, sealed, and delivered cure of the right techniques (for a fee) are: 
Nature (sun, sea, fresh air), movement, friends, faith, and the bravery to choose different -> love over discord.

Results will come.

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