Thursday, June 8, 2017

Boundaries, Ego And Shame

This video was so good! Teal never ceases to surprise me.

It is true that sometimes I feel bad for setting boundaries with other people. Whether they're relatives, clients, lovers or passersby, I feel I should be ashamed for feeling confident enough to even have boundaries.

How not to make the other person feel bad about themselves when stating what I am comfortable with and what I am not ok with?

It's a vicious cycle. Feeling rejected is a natural human reaction to something desirable being denied to them. Then they may deflect their shame on others just because they do not want to face their fear of not being good enough.
It is an allusion, of course.

Again, it seems that the biggest, deepest fears the ego holds are fears of rejection and fears of not being good enough. That false suspicion makes us walk around under a veil of shame. Nevertheless, the ego finds ways to mask those feelings of inadequacy - irrational arguments for example.

In order to make human relationships work, that shame needs to be expressed in healthy ways during communication. The tendency to feeling ashamed must be accepted as part of our vulnerability in this world.
We are in this world, but we are not of it.

I highly recommend all Teal's videos.


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